fun · People

Galeej Boys and the Art of Getting High

Champagne Supernova by Oasis goes:

Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a canon ball,

Where were you while we were getting high?

Or the more appropriate Tubthumping goes:

He drinks a whisky drink, he drinks a vodka drink

He drinks a lager drink, He drinks a cider drink

He sings the songs that remind him of the good times,

He sings the songs that remind him of the better times.

Alcohol is enjoyed, revered, praised, abused, all in equal measure. It is quite interesting to study the tastes of an individual. Especially when it comes to us Indians, galeej boys and the idea of making “plans”.

Whiskey

This was my first ever exposure to alcohol. I had little bit with lots of Pepsi and it tasted pretty good(obviously!). Since it was the first time, I cared only about the taste. But whiskey, as far as I’ve seen, was not much revered by the galeej boys. It remains an initial fantasy to always buy quarter MC to drink alone. This is potent enough to lead our thalais to half boil. It so happens that in a group, you always separate the half boil “putters” from the cleaners. There have also been cases of really good hearted galeej boys who manage to find their way to the closet to deliver. Once in the US, the boys swear by the spirit from Tennessee. I have not tried it yet so unqualified to comment. In India, RC still rules the roost. It was reserved for special and/or important occasions. That scene in Chennai 600028 where Premji Amaran, realizing he is on the verge of winning 600 bucks, exclaims, “Iniki night RCCCCCCC”, is classic!

Vodka

This is probably the most popular drink thanks to it’s lightness and pleasure factor. At least among us Indians, it has attained the status of a very girl thing as most girls prefer vodka. But there are a lot of boys who nurture a secret liking for it and a lot more openly swear by it. And in case you want to protest, you can always argue about Russians. Romanov is an eternal crowd pleaser. I have been exposed to Absolut ads in quiz contests but never had a chance to get my hands on one of them. The boys even try galeej brands like MGM. A memorable event was when MGM mixed in a sprite bottle was taken to college one bright sunny afternoon. A friend grabbed the bottle, thinking it was water, as soon as the boys entered and gulped down most of it. Of course, his face was priceless the next instant.

Brandy

Now, who ever has it? Well, yeah, no one I know of. Some galeej boy, hoping to act like a dude, will order a brandy in a dingy bar. Steaming brandy. Apparently, the boy is suffering from cold. It tastes like shit, I tell you. First hand experience of finishing that brandy the wannabe galeej boy ordered. There are also certain uncles(ex-galeej boy??) who always have a bottle of brandy at home to give it to the wife in case she is suffering from any ailments of the ear, nose or throat.

Rum

Rum is the best “hot” stuff in my opinion. It tastes awesome and it gets you high almost instantly. Kaun Banega Crorepati told me it’s made from sugarcane and probably that’s why it tastes so good. But I’ve met a lot of people who don’t like rum. Old Monk was good enough until a certain famous pirate brought cult status to it with immortal words like-“Why is the rum always gone?” The combination of rum and bread omelette at 2 am outside IIT Madras remains unmatched and unbeaten. Anyone remember that pop culture laden ad of Old Monk? With Pele, Sean Connery et al? I was probably 10 back then. Cult it was.

White Rum

Aiyo, it sucks! Some people really like it because it gets you high very quickly. But the only time I had it, was during daytime and probably because of that, it was bad. It’s like they really mixed something lethal with vodka. Recently, my friend told me it tastes just like rum which really got me thinking, what was it that I had then! I don’t know many people who have experimented with it a lot. Girls seem to love it. There was an instance when five quarters vanished between four girls. But we’ll stick to galeej boys to avoid getting into any controversy for defaming the chaste Indian female.

Beer

Among Indians, you can pick out the guys who like beer and guys who do not and study some characterization. I am sure the two have different set of ancestors. Imagine their plight when they come to this country. They’ll be worthy of being castrated and pulled down by donkeys. Beer rocks and there is nothing like pissing the night away looking at noobs drinking and throwing half boil around. Madras lacks some kind of a beer fest. The galeej boys have always looked for “Free Beer” signs all over the place, only in vain. They cringe to hear the sexist offers of certain pubs and discs that provide free drinks to women on a certain day of the week. WTF!

The much celebrated OH- has been successfully avoided by yours truly for more than a year. Except for a couple of beers. Thanks to the erstwhile “I am already a kadankaran” mentality. But I got to go. Someone who is known to be a very good leglimens just took advantage of my bad skills in occlumency and pinged on GTalk. The name is mom. My mom.

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40 thoughts on “Galeej Boys and the Art of Getting High

  1. You didn’t write on whether girls love beer or not. :-).

    (Girls love beer?? :P …I personally don’t know any. So, no comments!)

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  2. First and foremost, WHAT is galeej?
    Secondly, where are the cocktails, wine and champagne? Where? Where? Where? Surely, galeej boys must have at least tasted them if not had them regularly. (I’m just a little senti when it comes to champagne. It was the first alcoholic drink I ever tasted when my cousins smuggled it to gimme a sip at the eldest cousin’s wedding reception to spoil the 11-year old me. :D )
    By the way, whiskey, I don’t know what most men see in it. It tastes so bitter, so cold, so, totally rancid. It’s an unfriendly alcohol, that’s what. There’s stuff like Vodka which waves and smiles to you and which you feel is a kindred spirit. Whiskey looks and tastes like a menacing gangster which has just escaped from prison and is looking for its 39835948986th murder victim.
    And what about beer and girls? You can classify girls also on the basis of the kind of alcohol they like. Whiskey types are kind of detached and cold hearted. Brandy kinds are non-adventurous. (Who the hell drinks brandy to get high anyway? I always thought it was meant for zero-degree December nights.) And so on.
    BTW, I once had a bad case of cough last winter and a dumb friend called me up at 4 am, told me to take some Rum and added as a “trivia fact” that it’s good because it’s full form is ‘Regularly Used Medicine’. (It’s not.) Nice way to disturb people. I do it to every ill person these days.
    Sorry, I got carried away. I feel a bit too talkative around noon and midnight. 12 o’ clock and all, you know… :p

    PS: What is kadankaran? Half-a-teetotaller?

    (This is about getting high and throwing up. Not sipping cocktail and champagnes. ROFL@ rum incident.

    kadankaran is someone deep in debt! And about galiju and stuff of same kind, check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madras_Tamil#Examples)

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  3. 1. I swear I was going to ask you what the f will happen if your mom reads it.

    2. “But the only time I had it, was during daytime and probably because of that, it was bad” Pagal kudikara

    3. Here is a funny story. So this time in India we had a lot of guests at home. My mom was going on and on and on about how my brother and I are Uttamaputirans and we dont drink. Finally, I was made out to be such a nice guy that even I couldnt stand. So my brother and I came put with all our guns firing tell everybody what kudikaras we are:)

    4. Brilliant article. One of the best:). I would suggest you get it published in some place where it will be really appreciated without NUMBSKULLS asking you if ‘kadankaran’ is a half teetotaller. What the fuck is a half-teetotaler? Somebody who drinks half a drink and throws the rest?

    (Lol, you and drenched are comparable to people in the rediff comments section :p)

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  4. tell you what, whiskey, vodka and rum don’t come cheap. Also you can’t guzzle large quantities without going talli and half boiled..

    Beer is the cheapest, comes in large bottles and you can guzzle 4-5 bottles of H5000 and still stand. Beer fits the cash-strapped young-Indian psyche. So 50rs means ‘beer adichu varalam pa’. Married men upgrade to whiskey with shoda and oorgaah.

    I personally don’t have a strong liking for both, vodka and rum for me please! while your’e at it, the next time you go out try a Long Island. It’s my new fav…

    ps: tequila not counted on yor list?

    (Beer is cheapest, yes. Long Island is ultimate, tried it. Tequila, never had it plain. Only in cocktails so no idea)

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  5. Being a proud member of the cult who go to the bar only for kadalai and other side dish, one looks at this ‘OH’ episode with optimism. “OH” is the best when one plans to have a girl get drunk and talk her into ‘you-know-what’. The girl would get obviously high by the drink. And one remains the teetotaller and still feel the high, obviously not by the drink.

    (Kadlai? Which kadlai? :P Girls, beware! This is exactly the kind of guy not to be trusted!!)

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  6. oh show me , the way, to the next whisky bar
    oh dont ask why
    oh dont ask why

    and please dont ask why i did this
    just bored at work
    i have some work
    but i am intentionally trying to delay it

    (I understand! :D)

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  7. hahahahaha.. dude, this is a super post!… i almost got bombed just by reading it… i’m all beer in summer and glenfiddich in winter…. jaiger shots man.. they are deadly… i had three shots on an empty stomach the other day and i couldn’t tell where the exit door of the bar was…

    @drenched:

    about RUM:

    hahahaha… i remember that one about regularly used medicine… i fell for it too, someone told me indian army had a mandatory law for all soldiers to carry a bottle of RUM in the ’71 war…

    (Gotta try those, then! How come I’ve never heard this rum joke!)

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  8. Dude this is an absolute discrimination towards females. And above that u mention good girls…..not fair huh. And someone mentioned women who like whiskey are distant and cold hearted. Not fair huh. Some women genuinely enjoy an occasional black label on the rocks.

    (Hehe, the post doesn’t intend to talk about girls! But a sequel is in high public demand!)

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  9. lol@spirit from Tennessee! galeej guys have an undying love for jack dada innit? and most fall under the line of a cheap drunk too!:P beer is free flowing in frat & sorr parties, no fun there! my first try was jello shots. btw,do we get a sequel to this…? ;)

    (We are not 4 pointers to attend frat court and sorr court parties!! Sequel? what sequel? If you give me some pointers on seemingly chamathu girls like you, I’ll think about it!)

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  10. Beer is the best drink. EVER. You can drink copious amounts and still not get wasted. Also it has the wow factor in front of men who think women cant drink beer. Not true anymore boy! ;)

    Rum is great ( white or otherwise ) and I’d only drink vodka as shots to get hurriedly drunk or in cocktails. And oh,brandy does work wonders for a cold. I once bought an entire bottle and drank it throughout the semester as an excuse. Of course it tastes like shit.

    Good post. Interrrrresting.

    (I never said woman cannot drink beer. I just don’t know anyone personally who does!)

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  11. There’s an art to getting high ??? :P

    One thing ill say tho .. There is some music which sounds so chingmingpingsing (was that what u said ? ? :P ) awesome when u are high

    Musha rain dum-a-doo dum-a-da
    Whack for my daddy-o
    Whack for my daddy-o
    There’s whiskey in the jar-o

    :D

    (Lol, when have you ever been high? Onnaku dhan eerave eradhe :P)

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  12. Long comment…Hmmmm…

    Well…My first tryst with drinkin was at Sparks (here in Chennai) and i think i gulped down litres of rum and coke, beer,vodka and orange juice and i never got high…i was like totally normal…probably cuz i danced it away…but i was ok…

    Ever since then iv always felt that i can never ever get ‘high’ as in proper high..To top it all, my parents r here, so even if i have to drink i have to gt back extremely cautiously just incase(Dad dirnks and he’d deifnitely know if do, or so i assume) My only saving grace is that i blabber anyway, so they really wouldnt notice if im blabberin cuz im high or otherwise :D

    I dont think i actually like-like the tatste of any alcohol except for tequila and cocktails…I just drink to feel high and im kinda surprised u mentioned that the initial reason a guy drinks is for the taste..i always thought it was for the ‘mabbu’!
    Anyway, because of this not-really-for-the-taste drinking, i basically have resorted to having everything neat ;) Nothing to sip it slowly and let it linger on for too long…I do vodka neat all the time with a lil salt and its fun and gets u pretty high too :D

    Rum is nice in pina colada and stuff…with all the pineapple juice and cream…Otherwise it’s a lil too sweet smeelling for me…And Beer, kandraavi..i dno how people drink that!!! And whiskey too…blech! I’ve tried quite a few varieties and nothing is nice…

    And ipadi oru kudikaaran aa iruke, aana iduku minnadi potta scene vera madri terinjideeeee!! ayo! :P

    Lonnnggg comment…nee padicha padi, padikaati po :P hehe…

    (That’s more like it! Ipdi orru kudikaran?Excuse me, look at YOU!!! Naa eppo scene potten?)

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  13. Bad girls loooove Rum and Vodka. Some of them are known to even gulp down fine single malts. Nice work here. And please do Galeej Girls’ guide to getting high. Pronto!

    (Thanks! I may just end up doing one!)

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  14. dude, i just remembered a story from college in bangalore… we got hammered at a local dhaba after bunking college.. i think we had green label or something… it stunk and a bunch of us would take the college bus back home and it would always be packed… but the last seat would always be empty for porikis like us… so as we were making our way to the seat pushing people around, one girl said.. “i think someone stepped on cow-dung”… i never laughed so hard ever.. probably because i was blasted and someone comparing cow-dung smell to alcohol… how naive can people get?

    (ROFL!! Seriously, that is so naive! But it is possible you didn’t catch the sarcasm thanks to your wasted state???)

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  15. Interesting, the way that you have articulated the alcohols.
    Personally, i have graduated to Whiskey. But i would rather have a beer on a hot after noon than anything else.
    Btw, what is “galeej”?

    (Thanks! Galeej is a slang word in Tamil, meaning local/dirty)

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  16. Oh btw I watched DashAvathAram after all. :D And I actually liked it except for 1) Asin who was perhaps the most annoying thing next to the kosoo on my lappie now. 2) Throwing the vigraham all over the place in the movie like it were some pencil box..
    Apart from these 2, it was very well made.
    The reviews I read were shit……Kamal rocks! And so does chocolate! :D

    Amen

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  17. Haha…im not denying it myself…but the scene bit was on Drenched’s blog rem??? Epayooo oru vaatiiii, edhukooo pechu vandude…apooo!! :D

    (Yes yes! Ok’s blog I think. Something about drinking only with dad’s money :P )

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  18. @wolfie: oh yes, sworn to secrecy to my alma mat(t)er! ;)

    @Preetu: ditto@not the sippy kind,doing just shots/on the rocks! we should be soul sisters, girl! :D

    (good one @ mater :p. Aiyo aiyo, indha kalathu ponnungala paaru :P )

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  19. From a not-so-teenage drama queen to a magnificent mind – MGM apple vodka :D

    ( :) Hmmm, but the likes and dislikes of MGM apple vodka are quite debatable, Ms. Silver Anklets)

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  20. @Wt: You too gurl!?Soul sisters we r then! And btw, is that preet (u) bit a typo??? :D hehe…juz askin!

    @Wolf: Ponunga na epadi irukanum? :P

    (Right now, nichyama, Neku theriyadhu!)

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  21. But hey, I love beer. And I’m a girl!
    The weekend in NYC was fruitfully spent in company of copious quantities of Corona Extra and Sangria :D
    Also, the result of a broken leg.

    (Girls in Amreeka don’t count :p )

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  22. @Preetu: no typo! ;)

    @Adolfie: liar, liar, pants on fire!@neku theriyadhu.:P

    (Adhu enna adolfie! Yeah, I support Germany in Euro :P)

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