life · Myself · People

Matlabi Duniya!

I love that song from Johnny Gaddar. It goes something like this:

heyy johnny, zindagi juwa hai khel yaar

heyy johnny gaddar, aaj nakad phir kal udhaar

heyy johnny, matlab hi hai asli yaar

There were three instances I came across recently. Two of them being my own experiences and one of them regarding an on going murder case.

Both my experiences were very similar and they occurred at different times last week. I have this friend who often asks for my help on both academic and non academic stuff. I, quite humbly, try my best to help him/her out. I have done this umpteen times back in India and also after coming to the US. But whenever I ping him/her just for a casual chat and catch up on old times, he/she is always busy! Either there’ll be no reply or it’ll be cut off. I never gave a damn. I still continued doing the small things that were asked of me. It was never a big deal and I don’t know why I don’t feel used. The other instance was similar and this one was with a friend who I have not been in touch with for a long time(1-1.5 yrs). Very rarely I would ping and hear a reply. Even if there was a reply, the chat wouldn’t continue beyond two or three lines. And guess what, suddenly, this person pings, asks how I am, what’s new and spoke a bit about old times. Then came the bummer! He/she wanted to know the price of some product available here(in US) and wanted details about it. Neat!

I’ve seen this book on my mom’s shelf titled “Don’t say Yes when you want to say No”. I probably should have picked it up and read it. But the problem is, I don’t want to say no. It’s not that I don’t know. When I dislike someone or really feel bad about them(more often than not, they turn out to be girls!) I give it back to them when I can. I’ve been rude that way. But with people who I like or do not dislike, I am as nice as ever. I don’t feel any emotion, loss or pain in this. It plainly doesn’t make any sense to me.

The other news that troubled me was the Aarushi murder case and it’s handling. Neha wrote this post on the SMSs she saw on NDTV in reaction to the murder and the case that followed. I read that article and made a comment on the media which was a bit out of sync with the point she was trying to make. The article was about the kind of SMSs and not the media. Anyhow, the media has covered the case in a big way and cashed in on all the controversial and sleazy details the police took the issue to. Now, I read this! They plan to depict the incident in one of the serials of Balaji Telefilms! Why don’t they get a life? Bang in the middle of the case, when the family is going through a lot of emotional roller coaster, these people want to up their TRP ratings. Even cashing in on such negative publicity is so unethical. I am not sure what drives people such ways.

Putting all that aside, life is good a la Preeti, a la Ok. For the first time after coming to America, starting a grad student life, I have a proper routine in place. Weekends are good, harmless fun. Weekdays, I come back from work and then go for a 2.75 mile hike around the lake with my roommate. We plan to gradually up the length and tempo. We come back, shower and cook good food! Yeah, sometimes we slack and end up with Maggi, but most of the time, we manage to eat well. Today we were cooking with Bombay Jayashree going Kanden Seethaiyai and Janaki Ramana in the background. I liked the atmosphere. Very nice! The only thing missing is a girl. All in good time! :D

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23 thoughts on “Matlabi Duniya!

  1. All in good time chinna payyan, all in good time :D

    Ennoda happiness levels i couldnt take myself…i think i was tryin hard the whole of ystrday evenin to gt back to earth and try n be a lil more grounded…but those new Disney stickers..Damn! They lift my mood to beyond cloud 9 in a second..And there r Baby Pooh stickers even! Imagine! :D hehe…

    Matlabi duniya…sooo true..My friends have named me The Serial Pleaser cuz i NEVER say no…iv been ridden over and walked over a million times, but i still cant say no…And sometimes i think, maybe i dont wanna say no…Terila…

    Aarushi case on Balaji? Oh puhleese, that is the sickest thing iv heard nw! I really really think all these ‘mega’ serials and epics shud be banned… Time for another petition!

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  2. and i’m with you on “friends” talking to me only when they need something… i’ve been chewed up and spit out on more occasions than one but i’m slowly beginning to change.. and just when i think i’m doing the right thing, i get labelled for being a mean-mouth, rude and insensitive…

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  3. well there is a thin line between being taken for and doing favors. U gotta see that and put your feet down at times. I’ve learnt to do that witha few frnds with whom it had always been one-way traffic.

    I had read neha’s post before, but read the comments section only today, some guy calls you a northie! LOL….

    cooking with sangeetam in the bkgrnd? heights of chamathu-ness. youth pa, ippove idu ellam panna pinne wat will you do wen you 60?

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  4. @bg: Yeah right!

    @preeti: Me chinna payyan? What are you? 45? :p

    @rads: Well said! Thanks for the motivation. :D

    @v: Thanni aajkal romba rare! Let’s see.

    @maxu: Hahaha! Five days, at least, in a week I listen to ” I’ll move to Paris, shoot some heroin and fuck with the stars” while eating, drinking, traveling, reading, coding! One fine day I listen to Jayashree to preserve that chamathu streak and you say this!

    After all who is an accused Tambrahm? Like that fine description for the orkut community goes- “Start off as geeky kids, grow up listening to Vishnu Sahasranaaman & end up worshippin death metal (well, some still dig carnatic music as well) break all hell loose!However, still love thayir saadham & maavadu/oorugai, say taht little prayer everyday n strive kinda hard to preserve that chamathu streak, more or less!..”. We are like this wonly! :p

    I see the last paragraph has made everyone drift away from the point of the post. Lol!

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  5. I totally agree with Rads, enjoy till you find the rigt girl.
    about “matlabi people”, it happens to me all the time, the worst part is that i understand the other person’s intentions but still cannot say “no”. husband says i will never learn, may be i will not, but i like helping people. kya karoon aadat se majboor hoon.

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  6. Thats freaky! Only yesterday my bro was like Jhonny Gaddar is one of the top 5 Hindi films he has ever seen. I din’t know there was such a movie!

    And dude “going Kanden Seethaiyai and Janaki Ramana in the background. I liked the atmosphere.”

    Unnake 0 youth points:).

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  7. preeti: The problem is not me being chinna payyan. That, I am. The weirdness was with you calling me so :P

    ok: johnny gaddar is an awesome movie, yeah! Saw the reply to maxu? Why do you have this simbu fixation? Everywhere, you go youthu!

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  8. Hiya, glad you’re beginning to enjoy your grad life in the US. Dont worry about friends who dont chat except if it’s for a favourl. We’re probably do the very same thing at a time when our lives get crazy hectic…like you said – all in good time.

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  9. I can soooo relate to the first part. I remember how in college these girls used to come to me only during exams for help and then, nada!
    It is a matlabi world indeed.
    aha, Summers are the best part of grad school life :–))

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  10. So true. Times change, ppl change and I never thought I’d say this but some friends also change. Guess thats life. I guess being more vetti than others kinda made me realise this more than anything else. :)

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  11. Nice post. Find that girl, my boy, find that girl. But in the meantime, learn to be assertive. You don’t have to be mean or rude. Just matter of fact. Spares you a lot of agony in life. The real friends will never get you into a situation where you have to put them down. The rest, well, they’re expendable.

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  12. Bah! I learnt to say ‘No’ in my early teens. First, in a nice, apologetic sort of way but even then, people kept walking all over me and then, I developed and polished the mean, assertive side of my personality. There’s just a trick to saying ‘No’ very firmly so that people stop giving you crap and if it’s a particularly leechy kind, then, I don’t mind going all rude. That’s what my pulsating vein in the temple is for. :P
    Oh, and Johnny Gaddar is such an awesome movie! Neil Nitin Mukesh should do away with that dumb blonde stubble though. He’d look great without it.
    As for the Aarushi murder case, it’s just sick. Look at the way they’re putting allegations on her with that bloody IG, Meerut saying that the dead daughter was as “characterless” as her “killer” father. Please! Characterless? She was freakin’ 13! Calling all sorts of names to a dead child. This is so cheap. And I think (K)Ekta Kapoor’s getting banned or at least those episodes are. Aarushi’s mother went to the Child Rights people and they’ve got the I&B Ministry to stop it. I’m so glad. I hope the goddamn show is taken off the air.

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  13. I know exactly how you feel when people use your friendship. I know it’s probably hard to say no when you want to help them… I’m really bad at saying no. But to people like that, I just make excuses. “I’m really busy sorry” “I dont understand this problem” “I havent heard of this US product”

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